I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
