My hand turned me down
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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