The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
