kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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