Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
