yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
