She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
