summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
