I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wish my penis had a tongue
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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