Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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