that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
