There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
