Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It was a blind-side dick pic.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
