We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
