Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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