O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
