now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
