with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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