just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
