Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
