I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
