Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
