Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
