@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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