At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
