it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
