You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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