Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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