worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
