sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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