I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
