Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
