Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
