Swine flu. Run for my life!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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