Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
