My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
