True but thats because hes a fetus.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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