Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
