just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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