I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
