The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
