dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
