Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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