he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
