gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
