I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
