Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
