Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
