He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
