mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
